Reflections and Observations

 WARNING: MY OPINION MAY OFFEND SOME PEOPLE. WHETHER YOU CHOSE TO READ OR NOT - IT'S YOUR CHOICE.  

    I have no idea how to exactly begin this post. A lot has happened in the past one month. There are too many thoughts in my head that I personally find worth sharing over here. These are, however, just opinions. I will admit and put forward the fact that I don't have the answers to everything. 

CASE NUMBER ONE: 

    In July, after enduring roughly three months of the COVID-19 lockdown and graduating high school at home, a small part of me missed the everyday face-to-face interactions I had before COVID-19. This was completely understandable, but was quite out-of-character for me due to my introverted nature. Thus, I decided to create an Instagram account for myself. I used to have Instagram from 2015 to April 2018. I decided to leave because I lost interest at some point and was caught up in other things. 

    After my two year absence, I was back. Things have changed a lot, obviously. I reconnected with old friends from many years ago, even the ones from primary school back in Saudi Arabia. Things weren't so bad while I was there. I wasn't obsessed with likes and comments in an unhealthy manner, I joined a chat group with my small circle of friends, watched funny videos, posted stories and whatnot. There were times, however, where I felt depressed and as though I've become an addict. This obviously wasn't good. 

    Four months into my Instagram journey, I have made the decision to leave...again. Three events resulted in this: 

(1) The first event may be too long for me to explain, and I think I'll make a separate post about this later on because of it. In short and for now, I will just say that social media in general is a place of self - delusion. People see what they want to see, and when they want to see it. People are given a chance to blame, slander and point fingers on social media. People think they're doing the right thing, when in reality, they're doing nothing. This will be specified in another post, as I mentioned.  

(2) Social media is a huge distraction. I think we all know this, but some of us don't know - or don't want to know - about exactly why this isn't a good thing. In my religion - and I know not everyone's a Muslim, but I still think this is worth sharing - we are taught that getting too attached to something and making our lives all about it can be very unhealthy. Attachment is not good. I realised, shortly before deleting the account, that I really was becoming an addict. I tried deleting the app, but couldn't stop thinking about the next time I'd log in as well as what I would see. Every time I were to go on my phone to read the news, I'd also scroll through Instagram and sometimes forget reading the news and doing other tasks altogether. Seeing as to how bad this is, I decided this was a big problem and should be one reason to delete my Instagram. 

(3) This reason is one that deeply saddens me. It's a long and uncomfortable story, so if you choose to read, don't say I didn't warn you. When I first had Instagram, pre - 2020, I made friends with someone who went to my school. We'll call him Mo. To be specific, we were friends on the Instagram DM. We used to chat a lot, though we never really had a lot of face-to-face conversations. 2018 came, I deleted my account, he'd graduated high school and there were no interactions whatsoever. Late last month, he messaged me again and said he missed speaking to me. I was quite excited as I thought this would be an innocent reunion, just like the way I reconnected with my other old friends. I perceived it as a friendly gesture, so I accepted his request to send me a message, and we started talking again. Looking back, I really regret doing this. 

    While we spoke, I realised that Mo is not really a respectful guy. Whether it was just towards me - I have absolutely no idea. Instead of reconnecting and talking about interesting topics, sending funny videos to each other and everything else I did with my other friends, Mo talked filth and dirt with me; he'd make sexually insinuating jokes and comments, asked inappropriate questions and sent me a very suggestive video. This obviously didn't sit well with me at all, and I told him I was uncomfortable. I told him, straight away, to stop. He went against my wishes, called me a bitch and cursed at me. I know for a fact that if I were one of his guy friends, or just a guy alone, he wouldn't dare speak to me the way that he did. Mo was like this a few years ago, too; however, back then, it wasn't as bad as now. It wasn't as frequent and he seemed to control himself well. Now, as the years have passed, things really have drastically changed. 

    My conversations with Mo during 2015-2018 seemed a lot more genuine. We actually talked about deep things, and we both opened up to each other. Now, seeing as to how I was treated; sexually harassed, disrespected, belittled and verbally abused, I decided enough was enough. This was the last straw. I was sick of the indecency. It was time to leave again, and I did leave. I no longer feel terrible and guilty for the indecency of the nature of the conversations I had with Mo, and also social media altogether. I did, however, feel sad in these past few days; Mo just dismissed me. He'd crossed a line with me despite our friendship years ago and the boundaries I tried to make. I was hurt and angry, but after telling my friends, who supported and loved me, I've come to accept that I do have every right to be pissed, and I shouldn't be thinking about this since I've already... fled. 

    So, to conclude this craziness, I've left social media. Adios. Ma'a salamah. Not going back again anytime soon. 

CASE NUMBER TWO: 

    People may not realise this, but as we get older, we seem to age backwards. Try and really think about this for a second. 

    As children - provided we are taught the right things - we had humanity, generosity, thoughtfulness, kindness and curiosity. Do we apply any of those right now, as adults? I hoped so, but seeing the state of the world as a result of the measures people go through for meaningless things such as oil, land power and money, driven by greed and corruption, the answer is no. 

    I watched an innocent, endearing yet interesting video on YouTube, of children tasting food from Palestine . First of all, the littlies are very cute. I wish I could hug them all and spend time with them. Second, while they ate, the camerawoman gave facts about the plight of Palestine and asked them some questions about what they thought of it. She said to them, about exactly what is happening in the region, "Two people are fighting over the same land." One of the little girls asked her, "Why can't they share?" 

    In another part of the video, the woman shows a map of the region to one of the little boys. The boy, seeing as to how Palestine is just two separate and distanced regions (Gaza and West Bank), asked the woman, "How is it over here, and over there?" 

    Let's admit it: nobody can answer the former, and even the UN - who, yes, was responsible for this - can't answer the latter. The questions that these kids ask just point out as to how stupid, greedy and corrupted grown ups end up becoming, and what happens as a result. We go to extreme lengths for our own self - interests in our fight for, like I mentioned, land, power, money and oil. And tell me, who pays the price? Besides the millions of innocent men and women, the children do, too. They are the very people who are plunged into this evil world without the ability to comprehend why it is such. They are confused and unaware, but they know much better than us. Thoughts of murder and other selfish desires these people possess have NOT crossed the minds of children. They don't think like that. They act better than we do. They possess no evil whatsoever. Is it now understood when I say that as we get older, we age backwards? Children know better than us, and we are more selfish and irresponsible than we portray them to be. 

    I like children. They're not greedy. They're still innocent. They've got a clean heart. We can keep them like this. How do we ensure of such a thing? We can teach them. This is why I believe education is the most important tool in the world. People underestimate it, but it really is. I hope children will learn the truth about what's been happening for the past 72 years, rather than being fed false information and propaganda by the world.